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Fresno Edition Morning News Briefing

March 29, 1998

Hand Jive
Groping for an answer

by Linda Stasi, Village Voice

NEW YORK - There used to be safety in numbers. For example, if six guys who'd never laid eyes on one another separately claimed to have been manhandled by the same boss, chances are good a jury would believe they were telling the truth.

Or if a gazillion people said they were fondled, groped, propositioned, flashed, or otherwise manhandled by the same boss, it would be reasonable to assume they too, were telling the truth. There's supposed to be not only safety, but truth, in numbers. And there is--except where women, the American public, the office of the president, and/or military tribunals are concerned. What with Kathleen Willey, Slick Willy, and Sergeant Major Gene McKinney, all going down (no pun intended) in the same week, so far it's boys 100, girls, 0.

When we fought for sexual liberation, it was supposed to mean we were finally free to have sex when and if we wanted to--not simply because we showed up at work. Liberation? This is about as liberating as a girdle. And if a woman does accuse her boss of propositioning, fondling, or groping her, or forcing her to touch or gaze upon his nether regions, she is often accused in turn of being exploitive, bitter, unstable, and generally a big pain in the ass. Or worse--an aspiring author with memoirs to sell.

The more powerful the boss, the more of an exploitive pain in the ass and/or aspiring author she's accused of being. Is that because most people (women included) don't believe that sexual harassment exists? Or is it that for women, at least, admitting it happens as often as it does proves how out of the power loop we really are?

The sexual harassment line is fuzzy, to be sure. Close to 50 per cent of all Americans meet their mates at work. How can you have a date, let alone get married, if a giant dating pool (the workplace) is closed to you? It's not. We all know how to behave--and we know there's a huge difference between single people in an office asking one another out on dates (without repercussion, no matter what the outcome) and sexual harassment.

For example, groping a breast at the Mr. Coffee is not an acceptable way to ask for a date. Pulling down your pants and expecting an employee (whom you may never have met before) to perform oral sex on you probably isn't Emily Post--approved either.

If a boss who holds the potential to ruin your career (like, say, a sergeant major) plants a wet one on you, that's sexual harassment. If the most powerful man in the world exposes himself, forces your hand down the front of his pants, or gropes you, that's not really a polite way for him to offer comfort and career advice. It is sexual assault. And if the numbers accusing the most powerful man in the world are legion, it stands to reason that there's truth--if not safety--in both the numbers and the accusations.

As for Kathleen Willey, no wonder she worried there was nobody to complain to. Who's left--God?

Sexual harassment is so discounted and distorted by the spin surgeons that even when it's portrayed in movies, it's usually the poor downtrodden guy being pursued by the gorgeous nympho psycho boss with large breasts. Or it's the decent husband who slips once and is then stalked by the gorgeous nympho psycho homicidal colleague; or the decent cop who's harassed by the gorgeous nympho psycho homicidal lesbian. Michael Douglas--who was sent to rehab (reportedly for the oversexed) by his real-life wife--has made a career out of reverse harassment. (Think Fatal Attraction, Disclosure, and Basic Instinct.) Oy, as they say in France.

Are we so frightened of just how much clout our male bosses have that we refuse to believe any accusation against any powerful man, including the president? Or are we just really comfortable with the notion that as long as the president is doing a good job, it doesn't matter what else he does in the office?

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